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6 {+ c; ?1 M' j5 }& C) A: d/ l) |% Mmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。4 e# S& [& I1 B6 c H$ j1 {+ P7 zmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第7 U8 |1 d9 F J( B
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：0 D0 ]& v, ~' L+ F$ i
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违。6 m, ?3 y0 S" k2 h: w% u& M4 Cmso-font-kerning:0pt">”: h0 y5 U# k& c \mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;( T- i3 x% Y: {
mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：0 V9 M6 C9 f/ I0 ]mso-font-kerning:0pt">“. C i+ d1 w( A8 E" t' a [ umso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;! i* j' P& `1 d1 B+ |4 I+ {: c' ?
mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。. @, Q2 L; Y1 I% k( c; Ncolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”' \- C; E' Z; |! t- F2 R4 hTahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
9 R& W3 {5 N, L3 M2 N4 }mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟曰：: }$ f9 ?2 J/ d7 emso-font-kerning:0pt">“" v% T, b/ D% ^( S% V6 d2 X/ }mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
# p) p" z$ J5 `( |: Qmso-font-kerning:0pt">何谓也？% @% T1 o T: ^- v) U' u R, S
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">子曰： ~& j8 s5 t& |" A
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。- t, z4 i$ E1 {" u7 t/ x ]2 e
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。: z+ g' C- f1 O5 `' K$ rmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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; d; X, X, b2 L9 t4 d% Cmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：& m4 e# y) \- S7 f7 N10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“/ c4 k& N9 T5 Q1 c" {) r4 Kmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;5 M+ q1 a3 k: @. N+ n
mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。% K8 X' p3 x# q- g3 M10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”6 O0 l3 H3 ]0 n( F* t: ?mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;# J# a9 y9 |& x1 L1 Q0 i+ h
mso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：% ]8 Z0 k3 O, r, U0pt">"7 S4 T7 \. V* d) g% D5 K
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。5 A5 b+ c. Z; g x5 imso-font-kerning:0pt">"3 Y' |, m- r% j2 F
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢, X* s1 u: m" a9 {% E* A" r
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：+ a: }( U9 S" |, \# kmso-font-kerning:0pt">"* q) b' v) D& k: @
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7 ^1 g4 i+ L+ l2 R" T; Ymso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。! z% ?: t9 l) Jmso-font-kerning:0pt">"
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- N( ]5 I0 A# I* P: Omso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是! n" @! p% c+ G3 l9 E. q
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得0 P% `# D, e+ h' z# v
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+ g$ C3 F1 V$ a% [8 C* p. Vmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲, e% Z7 X: z' B7 j- ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">“$ v; k1 Z0 l* Sfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼， M: P" V, w" L, l+ Rmso-font-kerning:0pt">“: n, w0 \7 \5 ^) W7 p: ^3 ]
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。& S. y9 Z+ n/ U) o+ n% z8 Z _: r2 zmso-font-kerning:0pt">”; g( Q Z4 l8 \2 ]% D5 \
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2 \" o7 D: @+ v1 G% W( Emso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。: W1 M4 k2 {+ U, P& u: a# p
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' d+ A4 ^" a) a2 v6 OTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义, x u0 M# U' _mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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% ~! Y9 C+ G, q8 k6 B3 B$ mTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！9 _7 }8 q: Y: G, F4 T* S- D
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。0 t3 m0 ]4 }" g7 h. C' e5 V# }mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊6 C' |3 B7 r( d8 ?5 Smso-font-kerning:0pt">
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。% A7 `- R! Y+ T2 U4 t$ I! Vmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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孝经
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。1 U$ f( G6 k- W4 P+ E9 c' L& T# Nmso-font-kerning:0pt">——* I4 x# w3 u' `2 J j0 b
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。8 d. X. \8 H5 h" W4 Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">——. Z+ p( n8 I# B$ A1 E1 g& p
font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;/ ]+ Q$ t9 E/ t+ ?8 x% \
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：& S2 E2 m' J5 R' x& ^/ z0 p3 Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">“) k3 E( B" z7 C6 v) _4 S' L) y
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。* y( V8 L+ g5 H2 _ V! j
mso-font-kerning:0pt">”0 F e9 L: b) _1 }* s! C. @font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
* |% G. `9 R! I2 m2 E% emso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个: I& E( C0 l, V' B( N7 z& b+ Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">“' [& U6 P9 O3 z' t. f
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬4 U9 _6 Q! Q! Cmso-font-kerning:0pt">”" X4 D: E+ ^( |- v) \: Q3 W
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5 B! Q8 n5 |4 M6 [mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为! g$ n7 @& ^1 s4 R; J, q" G
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道6 b! D s T. w( ~3 wmso-font-kerning:0pt">”% J' g, S( p* u" x0 ?: l; `( h$ Y9 U
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; F9 \' E. U( G7 O3 c4 bmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。& s+ c: m. t5 a1 c
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7 G6 ~4 N7 Z/ E! E2 ]Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的4 ]+ @# e; d: z8 W6 F; R( n8 [% y
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5 k8 Q6 [6 I" d Z; Z; [: Rmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思. o D+ Y$ |2 `( W3 }0 J) L
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